We are told not to comment on the responses of some websites, ones discussing an individual’s personal philosophy of life (https://www.fanstory.com/index.jsp). I wonder why? Negative comments and drastic suggestions are always very useful. I was just given a great suggestion on the aforementioned web site by someone calling themselves, for some reason, meeshu. It was a great idea. I took it. Thanks again, meeshu (I hate your fucking name, even if it is an acromymised variation on your true self.)
Avoiding a bad review is a sort of cancer–it is fascism as a personality trait. It is the mind of any Nazi, any fundamentalist, of every style and stripe. People outraged by somebody not liking or agreeing with them is the cause of more violence than anything that has ever been called a war, down to gang conflicts and family feuds. What we are trying to say is that only happy thoughts will be accepted. Anything that violates this remarkably narrow way of thinking therefore becomes the enemy. You have hurt my feelings. You have made me feel bad. It hurts when we question our reality based upon ideas that are not our own, or mere adaptations of some biological imperative to be the master of all that we’ve see.
Negativity, we must admit, is usually the cause of most of our true ambitions, the ones that transcend wanting something in the moment and inspire us throughout the course of our lives. There is a resentment that we all feel throughout our lives–sometimes much harder, but usually in less darkly frames. We resent the fact that not all of our dreams have come true and that, if we choose to struggle onward based solely on the childishness of presumed greatness, everything will probably end badly and you will be buried in an anonymous grave.
Sometimes we sink so deeply into our souls that we imagine everyone but us is always happy. Our lives have become brief little disruptions of an ongoing pattern, a kind of sociological ‘string theory.’ (https://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?isbn=9780375412882&n=100121503&cm_sp=mbc-_-ISBN-_-used), that puts serious limits on our length of time in the otherwise never-ending universe.
When we think of apocalypse who honestly visualizes Heaven? Doom and destruction fascinate us, and even the faithful get off being convinced that they’re about to be saved. It is all reduced back into the primordial sludge and the quest for survival. It’s only about something that bubbles off the surface, something that pops, then is shredded into a multi-colored mucus that starts cooling on the ground. This is the first sign of life. This is a theory so Darwinian that maybe even Darwin himself would have called it blasphemy.
BILLIONS of years is a great deal more death than life, in every intergalactic hybrid life form. All of the Trufula trees are dying. There are more and more fears of Armageddon in the form of storms and heat waves and the rising floods that once upon a time were dismissed in Atlantis, the Krypton of extinct societies. There is more chaos and violence year after year after year. It is a flood . . . Holy shit! Noah’s Flood! This is awesome! We are living in the End Times!
Another children’s fairy tale that passes in some places for Immaculate Truth. The end times? The fuck? You mean those billions or trillions of years from now, eons after mankind goes extinct, replaced for another hundred million by a gigantic ant colony that was not a space alien, but the same sort of evolutionary creature that has finally left humanity fat and lazy, or at least struggling to survive their bitter lives.
And so we invent ‘god’–both in polytheistic and monotheistic varieties.
Polytheism is the far more democratic way of faith, choosing your favorites, cozying up with a bottle of wine. You can be both moral and a bit of a freak with polytheism, because you worship many gods–the god of many faces and forms that allows you to invent your own ideas of creation. We can still evolve into the scientific species we were always meant to be. Ask Isaac Asimov. Robert R. Heinlein. L. Ron Fucking Hubbard. Then remember all those numerous intergalactic battles you’ve watched on TV. (Or, if you’re lucky, at a movie theater)
With polytheism you can worship murder. With polytheism you can do whatever the fuck you want. You can take credit for the rain because you prayed to the rain god and your prayers were finally answered. If the storm were to end terribly, that first chunk of Atlantis cracking off and drowning in the sea, then it could be a curse on mankind from an angry Lord.
And the governments say: Great! I don’t have to explain anything! GOD DID IT. Deal with that, you stupid motherfuckers!
Anything you do under a polytheistic civilization is ultimately fine (unless you kill someone who matters)–that is the freedom of these beliefs.
Someone claims, “I Worship the devil! I’m cool! I’m edgy! I am so goddamn open-minded! I would to be willing to let five guys fuck me in all places where they can fit, while my wife masturbates with a rubber goat hoof, shoving it deep inside herself until she can feel it all the way in her asshole. She has multiple orgasms watching the six of us all cum at the same time–”
Once more, this is polytheism. They have a god for things like that too.
Monotheism is stark and brooding and violent and gray. THERE IS NO OTHER GOD BEFORE ME! Is that God acknowledging the existence of other gods? Or is it a straight line to realizing that all the fairy tales are hoaxes? Magic passed before our eyes as an easy explanation, as the fanciful avoidance of hard reality.
We need to grow up and realize that the stories of Jesus Christ and Moses the Jew and Muhammad Islam, with all those saints and martyrs passing through his faith, are mythical fantasy stories for children. Fire! Fire is God. I’m sure someone thought of this. I’m certain that when the first lightning bolt was noticed crashing into a tree by some grunting baboon, he thought, after a moment ‘what the fuck is that?’ The stories of monotheism are no different from the quests of Odin and the challenges of Zeus. I will teach the little children a message. I will disguise it in puppets and cartoons and athletes and superheroes. The kid’s love it! It’ll teach them to not step out of line and accept that there can be only one thing we can ever call God, regardless of however many definitions we all have for that term.
Monotheism is the collapse of faith until no one can any longer believe something different than one way to look at the world. So we scream, We scream and we fight. We are filled with rage and need to prove to that other fucker how and why they are wrong. My God is better than your god, because my god is only One. And It can do all of that shit–BY ITSELF!, love and wine worshipers!
And so we humiliate the opposition. This breeds the first signs of hatred. Sometimes it even radicalizes and drives someone into such a desperate obsessiveness to prove they were right. They say, wait and see. I’ll destroy the whole fucking thing and then we’ll see who’s finally right!
We all worship something different, and we finally need to accept this. You don’t actually have to like people. Most people dislike most people, if not all the people on earth. Those fucking assholes with their stupid ideas and their stupid culture and the vicious way those barbarian motherfuckers treat their ladies and everything everything and we form a hatred for. We blame whoever it needs to be for all of the world’s ills and aggravations. And we can only justify this by keeping faith that we are ones who are right.
I am reviewing our most modern major religions and I think it is fair to claim that some belief systems deserve a truly bad review. Some beliefs are awful. We are all entitled to our own opinions, of course. But you know what? Some opinions are wrong. That’s what all this is about, anyway. A difference of opinion. That is the crime of Prometheus. The worship of fire. Before the goddamned apple there was a much greater, and far more dangerous, original sin. Fire. To worship fire. How do you think that whole mythic idea of Hell came into being? A story. A fairy tale.
Now this is not to say that there is not value to these myths. They were so influential at the time they came into being–or that town square criers told them was the truth–that the most glorious gift was discovered in this era. The imagination. And the imagination is on ready display. I mean–look at Exodus!
What a great fucking story The Book of Exodus is. Can you think of anything more inspirational, anything sadder, or anything western that didn’t in some way or another borrow from this classic myth? A story of escape from slavery, of commandments from both masters and God. You have horrible scenes of torture and even the unleashing of a plague that kills off all the firstborn sons and nearly all of man. This is the Exodus–no doubt eventually again coming soon, to both the theaters and right outside our door.
In Exodus the key is the escape. Just like Noah, we are going to be the last things living on earth. We’re still here. We have survived. We must build a utopia where everyone believes as we believe. It is only in this cult where we can believe we have found exactly everything there is to know.
Anyway, Genesis is kind of childish and stupid. Fucking Leviticus is the most boring thing, at least in English, anyone could ever try to read.
The rest of the old testament just builds a new culture that is still wracked with problems and where nobody, ever, can find a reason to behave with the proper respect towards one another. It is the same old argument where the snake fucks with your head and God is so pissed off that It chucks you out of paradise.
You have made a bad choice. You feel guilty and then grow to resent everything that you have lost. You turn this into blame, and then hatred, and then cruel words and then its back to Fire again.
You can learn from your bad reviews. Perhaps we can all use some trashing towards our beliefs?
Polytheisms: (C-) The positives of this belief system are ultimately undermined by the unstoppable sense of selfishness and greed that cannot help but always corrupt society, no matter what the majority choose to believe. It might be fun when you’re young. When you’re in college. Worship nighttime gods that make you tingle when you’re high. Play with the questions of faith and ask who we are and why are we here? We are at a moment that we actually want to know, then, stoned in college because there is nothing else you are responsible for doing. Polytheism offered this option until everything got bogged down by someone claiming that Zeus could kick Hades’ ass.
Old Testament: (B-) The Old Testament is a great old story book filled with mythic creatures and visions of the ever after. It is a fantasy book. It really only ranks under The Brothers Grimm, Hans Christian (!) Andersen, a handful of French writers, and definitely The Arabian Nights. Somehow people believed the much more weakly evolved legends of traditional bibles, ones that got increasingly ridiculous with every call for a sequel. But you had to keep the crowd’s interest after their hard days slaving were done.
Monotheism started out as what one day became radio, the internet, and television. It quickly tells you what is right, and its up to you if you want to fuck up your life and be an outcast.
The messages have gotten pretty blurred after a few thousand years, and there are a million different variations on what Old Testament God really means.
New Testement: (D) Dude, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. But give me a minute. Hear me out. The story of Jesus Christ is wonderful. It is one of the purest and most perfect hero stories that has ever been written. Think Robinson Crusoe. Think Moses. Think Superman. This is the story of a man who would die in order for the world to live. Isn’t that a great fucking story? Jesus tells the guards to take Barabbas, “No. Let him go. It’s all right. I’ll be crucified.
Jesus was a fanatic. He saw an ever after and that’s what you should want to know, how can we live forever? The Christians, all God’s children, as even Jesus says, never actually proclaiming himself divine. “We are all the children of God,” Jesus repeatedly answers when questioned about how he can know things. And it’s like the Christian have crawled inside God’s Pantry and stolen the leftovers of the much forgotten Tree of Eternal Life that is also outlawed in the Garden of Eden. Nobody wanted it, I guess. And now the Christians are offering it. Yay! We have gone so far back in time that we can live like guys in the bible to nine hundred, or more, and then we can have eternal life as a new god joining the cast of the sitcom. I won’t ever be lonely. I will never be forgotten, Christians tell themselves.
And how can I forget you if I’ve never even heard your name?
The Koran: (C) Here is a potentially dangerous one, so I want to start off with the statement that most of us should acknowledge, and this is the fact that The Koran astronomically superior as a written work than all of the other gospels. While the Christians simply adapted the old ways to a new generation, Islam took things all the way back to just east of Eden. Islam was a revolutionary movement. It was a stand against Roman and British and German slavery. It was let us build an army. Islam says this is the only way that’s right.
The text of The Koran is luminous and absolutely fascinating. This is a much more modern and much darker version of God. Muhammad shows up and tilts his head and says to the masters that mankind was finished being owned. It was the start of a real movement. Don’t all slave rebellions take the place as holy crusades, in hind sight, once the world learns its lesson and leaves a few more of us alone?
Of course the deepest problem with this faith is that it is so rigid, so tremendously angry with the immemorial unfairness of life. It is nothing if not radical. Zealously. People of this faith have become apostates on principal, in dedication to their dreams of a new God. And they are all so convinced that only true believers can be saved. And they damn the whole rest of the world, sight unseen. Since we are already damned then we’d better either convert or die! The lessons of the Inquisition have sank this deeply into Islamic culture, and if we subtract about 632 years from our present era with can safely place Modern Islam in the year 1386. The age of holy war.
All other faiths, Atheism another among them, are every bit as dedicated to what somebody else is saying to teach them what to believe. This is the faith of Contrarians, a religious body that preaches the questioning of everything.
And so I end as I began. Sometimes bad reviews can be helpful. We all need to work on certain things with our lives and shift a few of our most fundamental beliefs. And we have to keep realizing that if we keep telling each other that we are all wrong wrong wrong, well, then get ready for the colony of ant overlords, before we are all wiped off earth’s plate, much to our true mother’s jubilation.
- A quick note on more modern bibles: The Book of Mormon. Numerous varieties of Satanism. Seventh-Day Adventists and all the other apocalyptic layabouts following some failed prophet’s dream. Scientology . . . (Jesus, did I really include that true bottom feeder on the same list?) The Cult of Adolph Hitler. Christian Identity. Actual Zionism. Evangelicals of every type, ever. I have just a quick note to make… humph…Nonsense. Nothing can ever compare to the old classics. Here, last thousand years of belief systems or so, here. Here’s your final grade: (F).