The Worst Ever?

Worst ever? Come on, we can find a number of presidents worse–one or two maybe only just as bad as the one you are condemning. Is Harding the worst because he eventually grew ashamed of his corruption, and his whole body shut down, then he died dreaming of disgrace?


Silent Cal followed, whispering the nation into the Great Depression.  Certainly Presidents 13, 14, 15, and 17 kicked up the most ash on the land, before, during, and after the nation was torn in half. Millard Fillmore–ugh! He was a terrible man with terrible ideas given terrible power at a terrible moment in time. Fillmore cared more about his old university’s competitive sports teams than the back and forth of everyday governance. And he liked to watch those coloreds run!


Pierce was a handsome creep. He would play both sides of the slavery issue to make as much money as possible for himself before the whole thing blew up in everybody’s face. Pierce knew that the Civil war was coming and he decided to just watch the kingdom burn, drinking Port and Sherry out of the horn on a Viking’s helmet.


James Buchanan . . . James Buchanan was such an angry man, and his continuing rise was making the whole world a lot angrier too. He didn’t care about racial or slavery issues.  He didn’t care about the Jews.  Or the Papists.  Or any of those Injuns or runaways from other nations.  He didn’t care!  He just wanted everyone to shut the fuck up!


Buchanan would bark racist orders at the White House slaves whom he hadn’t the time to liberate, (he would later claim that “it would just make all these “stupid, nigger problems worse!”


Andrew Johnson might be the absolute worst of them all (although we have avoided my personal favorite, as a historian, in the tomes of disgrace that prompted the two presidencies of Grover Cleveland, the true Prince of Toads). But Johnson was pissed off that he hadn’t had time to prepare for the world because that “coon-lover Lincoln” hadta get shot, an’ now I gotta “clean up alla this stupid, nigger mess!”


“We gotta round up alla them  . . . ‘former slaves,’ an then scare the light a Jesus into um! We can ride aroun’ on our horses, wearin’ secret robes” (the horses can be in robes too!), “and then we kidnap or kill somea the more “uppity” ones.  Make a symbol of um’  Think . . . beware . . .


Is Barrack Obama worse than these guys? Is Donald Trump?  I’m sure both of these guys can stand up to the Tea-Pot Dome scandal, or the outbreak of World War I and II.  Or plenty of the stupid, asinine trends we here in the later generations cannot help but find hideous and amoral.  Our great grandchildren will grow to realize we were all monsters too.


So quit saying best of all time, or worst.   People need to understand history before throwing around who was a GOAT and who just sucked? Was Wilt Chamberlain greater than them all? What about Babe Ruth? What about Aaron? Ted Williams. Willie Mays! Joe DiMaggio. Roberto Clemente and Albert Pujols. Mike Trout. Yeah Mike Trout! Brady. Johnny Unitas. LeBron. Jordan. Kobe. Gretzky. We go about comparing the past to ourselves and not bothering to consider what all our actions are offering in the future.

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