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A Commercial Break: Do You Need a Mask?

 

There has been a lot of talk about masks lately.

To mask or not to mask: confusion spreads over coronavirus ...

It seems like suddenly all the shelves are bare, and the prices are going waaaaay up!  But here, all over the internet, we’ve got you covered.  We offer safety, security, and peace of mind in one fine package.

Coronavirus: Sharp to use TV factory to make surgical masks - BBC News

Other sellers offer a lot of different fancy models.  Some are sold in lingerie stores for Two Hundred Dollars apiece!

This Air Mask Company Struggled to Take Off. Then Came Coronavirus.

Here on the internet we cut through all that crap (or provide it, anonymity allowing expression of once secret desires).  We can get you a face mask you can really use, so efficient and perfectly made that you can use the same one for up to a month!

PSA: P2 Masks Used For Bushfire Smoke Could Work Against ...

So how does it work?  We create masks so strong that they let in no poison air.  We have devised a non-toxic disinfectant air filter, purifying whatever you breathe with the sort of synthetic air you have comfortably breathed before on an airplane.  $89.99, with standard shipping fees.  It comes in gray, blue, and black, and we offer you a money back guarantee–if the mask doesn’t work and you catch the virus, you can send all items back for a full refund–plus a twenty dollar coupon off your next order!

Croatian designer launches 'cheerful' virus mask line

Want to show-off that you’re still yourself, garbed in public with a mask making you look silenced?  We offer in our trend models varying shades of darkness and light for only $39.99 to $59.99–and no tax, because what are they going to do?

 

Amazon.com : Hitaocity Skull Face Multi Use Face Mask Scarf Head ...

Beijing locals don colourful face masks as smog hovers over city ...

Protective face wear is going to be your most important fashion accessory for some time to come, and don’t you want to get in on it before it’s too late?

 

For some people we understand that the virus has impacted your income, and we sympathize with your recent misfortunes. Well we have models for you too, at only $9.99 for one, and two for the incredibly low price of $14.99.  It’s always good to have a back-up mask.

 

Children’s sizes start at 6M , for $29.99 each.  Isn’t your child worth it?

3 Ply Nurse Face Mask,Disposable Surgical Mask Manufacturer in ...

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Surgical Face Masks Don't Protect Against Coronavirus – NBC Boston

Can wearing a face mask protect you from the new coronavirus ...

Some Wisconsin Hospitals Are Short Face Masks Amid Coronavirus ...

Surgeon General Urges the Public to Stop Buying Face Masks - The ...

Why a mask won't protect you from the Wuhan coronavirus | National ...

Coronavirus Outbreak Strains Global Medical-Mask Market - WSJ

Protective gear shortages hit Bay Area hospitals and nursing homes ...

Be sure to get these while supplies last.

 

How about some middle eastern flair?

Womens Sun Protection Tube Face Mask UPF 50+ | Aqua Design

or maybe something a little more tempting–sexy, if there is an actual word for it:

Celebrities wearing face masks amid coronavirus outbreak

You will have quite a bit of time spent at home with family, and you should find some to spend with them, time when you’re not all thinking about apocalypse.

CDC Weighs in on Whether Wearing Face Masks Will Help Protect ...

Arina Voronova captures New York coronavirus chaos through photos ...

Stores Across U.S. Sell Out of Face Masks, Hand Sanitizer as ...

DIY Face Mask and Filter for your Whole Family - YouTube

Myanmar students flown home from coronavirus-stricken Wuhan - Reuters

Fighting to protect against Wuhan virus during Lunar New Year ...

Set Of People Character Family Concept Stock Vector - Illustration ...

Air pollution concept sick family coughing and wearing protective ...

 

We even have masks for the health and security of your best friends.

Pets in China forced to wear bizarre makeshift face masks made by ...

Should pets be tested for coronavirus? | Science | AAAS

Chinese pet owners go to ridiculous lengths to protect them from ...

And with all that time together, sometimes things are happy, quaint, like the pioneers.  You are quarantined, spending more time than usual with the ones you’ve built your life upon, perhaps learning to appreciate them for the first time in years.

Smog casts a shadow over our family life in Beijing

Face Mask Pattern - Free Sewing Pattern • Craft Passion

Israeli Family Raises Money to Fight Corona by Selling Home-Sewn ...

Of course, there must be time for romance

A kiss is just a kiss except when it spreads the coronavirus ...

Coronavirus containment measures to be extended to entire Italy: PM

The Latest Coronavirus Victim: The Mona Lisa – Mother Jones

Disco-ball face masks bring flashy fashion to coronavirus pandemic

Sex

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Sometimes when you are trapped with someone, you fall in love.  Might this lead to

Coronavirus: Italian newlyweds kiss through face masks as ...

Hundreds of brides and grooms kissed wearing surgical masks at ...

 

So why waste time with profiteers trying to steal the last penny you’ve saved for these very rainy days?  They tell us we need one.  Please order today.

 

 

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